Monday, June 30, 2008

Success again!

First off, don't beat yourself up Mary! We all have those days where we just royally screw up. The most important thing is to KEEP GOING! Some days it is so much harder than others, but isn't this journey we're on worth it? We're not going to be fat anymore. WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE FAT ANYMORE! Hahaha you're doing great Mrrh!

Ok back to my latest success. I'm down another pound. Maybe its just a pound to you, but to me I'm only 1 lb away from my goal of being 165 before we leave to visit Jason's family. I'm 166 and I have 2 days to lose 1 more pound! I can do it! I'm so happy!

Oh and I think I've figured out the secret to weight loss. Watching what you eat! Not a huge secret, I know. But I've found that it makes a TREMENDOUS difference in the weight staying on or coming off. I did AWESOME on my eating yesterday and I aim to do the same today so I can make it to 165! The scale was 166.0 so I know I can get somewhere in the 165.somethings by Wed! Hooray!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Justifying and Settling

So I finally bought a scale and it read 151.8... TWO times! I was ecstatic! Here I was thinking I had gained five pounds at least and I'd lost about 3-4 pounds! But... this was not good. Yesterday I overate everything..

I made biscuits and sausage gravy for three of our friends who did a miniature triathalon together, two guys from our ward who played soccer with us yesterday EARLY morning, and those of us who were here in our apartment (two had gone to Idaho Falls overnight). It was terrible! I only ate one biscuit with gravy, some oranges, but I had two helpings of grits with syrup and butter and salt. I felt very full and I did some snacking later. I did okay though when it was time for me and Taleea to go to Taco Time, I hadn't eaten anything since like 2:30 or something and it was 6:00. Instead of a simple taco, I got a chicken and rice burrito thing that probably had 500-600 calories, and then I drank water. Well, I felt full but ate some strawberries with chocolate anyways... then sherbert with sprite... then quite a few nachos with salsa... then a couple pretzels... then a cupcake... three doritos... I don't know what else. I wasn't full or anything, but the crap I was putting into my body was just terrible for me I know! Oh, and I had about a serving size worth of cookie dough ice cream at like 12:00am. >.<

I'm gonna do better daggonnit! I wore makeup for the first time yesterday (check my regular blog to see why sometime tonight or tomorrow) and it made me feel so good that I need to lose weight and make the REST of my body look great!

Oh btw, I jogged a mile on Saturday. I DID power walk one of the straights on laps #2,3,4 but I'm gonna keep it up! I met a guy Dan who said he'd be my running buddy, and Cami and I already go together so I'M GONNA DO IT! My goal is to be able to jog 2-3 miles but RUN run an actual mile before I leave here!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Hushing the negative voices in my head...

Today I put on a bathing suit and immediately felt disgusted. What good is losing 20 pounds, I say to myself, when I still look so bad in a bathing suit. I might as well haven't lost any weight at all.

UGH the self sabotaging voices are raging today! I haven't exercised yet and they're trying to tempt me into just not exercising today at all. They are making me look in the fridge and cupboards at what there is to gorge on. I won't give in, I CAN'T give up, but today it is so hard!

On to other dieting-type news-- last night for dinner I made some salmon fillets with a mustard-chipotle sauce. I cooked some lentils with a little onion, carrots and cumin. I served the lentils and salmon over a bed of baby spinach with a basalmic vinagrette dressing. It was VERY VERY good! Mom has a ton of blueberries so I made a blueberry cobbler for dessert. It was from the Healthy Cooking magazine so in essence it would have been somewhat dietary.. but add the scoop of vanilla ice cream and real whipped cream and it probably had 500-600 calories. So my dessert last night doesn't help the fat feeling today. It sure was good though!

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Thanks for the reassurance Mary. It sounds like you're doing pretty darn good, considering your circumstances!!

Well my HOORAY is that I have OFFICIALLY lost 20 pounds! This morning I was 167!!! YAAAAAAAAY! I am so happy!

I haven't been keeping a food log but I have been consciously aware of what I have been eating and trying to make smart and healthy choices. I haven't been exercising as much as I'd like, I at least exercise every other day. I keep meaning to do exercise videos but those are harder to fit into the day so I end up running on the treadmill every other day but miss out on the videos more often than not. Blah! I am just so happy that I have made it 20 pounds. I'm halfway to my ultimate goal weight (which is ANYWHERE in the 140's but 147 will feel like I"m finally there!)

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

It's Okay Sarah!

YAY FOR the 160's SARAH!!! I'm so PROUD of you!!! If only I could know how much I weighed, but my goal is to purchase a scale one of these days...

So I'm not doing very well. I've been doing okay the last couple of days (like literally, JUST the last two days) I keep an eye on how many calories I eat at each meal, but last night I botched it. I always get bad towards the end of the day. I had way too much brownie (I kept picking chunks of the brownies out of the pan because they were crumbly) and then probably 3/4 cup of cookie dough icecream. AAAAAHHHH!!! But, I am trying to compensate by making extra trips between my apartment and classes, exercising in the morning and then playing soccer or walking to the park later in the day, etc.

But by NO means am I justifying my bad eating habits! I just try to remind myself when I jack up majorly that if I wasn't trying to lose weight I'd be eating around 1700-2000 calories a day, so when I jack up I'm just not LOSING weight not necessarily gaining. I just say that so I don't get depressed, and then I go on and try to do better than I did.

Trying to stay positive...

Yesterday I did so well on my eating.... until dinner. Mom and Dad had the missionaries over for dinner and I made a carb-heavy, VERY unhealthy dinner. Chicken and dumplings, this squash-corn cornbread type of stuff, salad (ok thats healthy) and then the kicker-- I made crepes for dessert, filled with vanilla ice cream and topped with strawberry syrup (made with real strawberries) and whipped cream. And I ate a WHOLE ONE! I was literally STUFFED after dinner and felt very guilty about it. It's been quite awhile since I've actually felt stuffed.

This morning the scale said 169.2... so I guess I have made minute progress but I was really hoping today would be the day I'd see 168.

I've decided that I need to start taking my measurements. Maybe I'll do that once a week. That may help when I'm so discouraged by the scale.

ETA: I did take my measurements that day and my waist was 35.5 and my hips were somewhere around 50.

Monday, June 23, 2008


Still 169.4 I was hoping that it would change a little in 48 hours since I've been working hard. I'm going to start food journaling again.

Saturday, June 21, 2008


I broke through the 170 barrier, 169.4 baby! I am SO happy! I have a renewed energy for working on weight loss, I get to go through the 160's now!!

I didn't get to exercise yesterday, the whole day just kind of slipped away from me. I think the key for me is to get it done before noon. I think I'm going to try and workout with the kids all around me this morning, which sucks but what else can I do? At least tomorrow and the next day Jason will be here so I will have an easier time being 'kidless'.

Eating yesterday-- I did great! I kept thinking about that scale and it kept my hands out of the proverbial 'cookie jar'.

Its funny how my old habits just come back to me without my even thinking about them. Yesterday the kids and I went to Walmart for some school supplies and dog food and in the checkout line I was 'checking out' the candy. I *almost* picked up a York peppermint pattie (which in my fat past I would DEFINITELY have picked one up, probably 2 or 3 and ate at least one on the drive home) but I didn't! I was so proud of myself.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Gah! >.< College stinks!

Okay, so nothing but my food diary now, and I mean EVERYTHING I eat, no mistakes or anything!


banana -110
cereal w/milk - 275
american cheese - 60
fruit roll up - 72
pickle - 2.5
5 strawberries - 50
iceburg salad w/ranch - 70
Bruschetta - 375
1/2 pb&j sandwich - 200
cabbage w/butter and salt - 100
2 apples - 180
apple crisp - 200

Total for 6-17-08: 1694.5 calories
Desired: 1500


banana - 110
oatmeal w/raisins and butter - 380
part of egg burrito - 75
7 strawberries
10 cherries - 150
4 pickle slices - 10
cheese sandwich - 300
cookie dough - 140
apple - 90
pb sandwich - 190
banana and cookie - 180
licked sweetened condensed milk pot - 75 calories worth I'm guessing...
cookie dough - 275 calories worth I'm guessing...

Total for 6-18-08: 1975 calories
Desired: 1500!!!

As you can see, I have much to work on. I wrote a food intake schedule for me today including foods AND times, leaving me about 660 calories available for me to eat tonight at our international thing.


Today's goal is to NOT foul up my eating.

My weight this morning-- 170.2!!!! I want to see the 160's!! I guess I just keep messing up on my eating so the scale isn't moving quite as fast as it should. Yesterday I ate several cookies worth of chocolate chip cookie dough, a popsicle when it wasn't snack time, a muffin while I was making dinner and various other dietary infractions. Today I will prevail! And maybe, JUST maybe, tomorrow I will see the 160's!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Just hovering...

Ugh! I can't seem to get out of the 170's! I am down to 170.5ish, although this a.m. it said 171 but then I took off my clothes and weighed again after I worked out and it was 170.4 (I think. It was 170.something)

And then, theres the eating. I do SO BAD! Not 'so bad' like I used to but I still can't seem to get the snacking under control. I have been having a lot of bowel problems (sorry I know, TMI!) like not enough is coming out and I have been really thinking about doing a cleanse for awhile. I am thinking about doing the master cleanse, a lady on the diaper divas board has been doing that and it sounds pretty interesting. I think it would make me feel a lot better. I very frequently have an achy, heavy feeling in my belly and I'm 95% certain that it is my bowels. And other factors that would REALLY be TMI also lead me to the same conclusion. ;)

But I have been doing pretty well at exercising. I ran on the treadmill today. Ok I walked AND ran but I like to refer to it as running. I did the interval running. I didn't do crunches but I'll probably do them in a bit while watching tv. I'm trying to get into a routine of doing a workout video one day and then the treadmill the next day. So tomorrow I'll be doing THE FIRM.. I love those videos. I need more of them! Haha

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Exercise... in many ways!

So, being at college, I've had to deal with my roomies telling me to "Just eat it! Exercise more if you need to!" >:O stop that! Luckily, I had a talk with Taleea and Katey, and I asked them to NOT let me eat more/don't let me eat their food or encourage me to eat more. Plus, me and Katey just came up with an exercise schedule last night, then wrote an entire fitness contract that we signed. It included: sticking to our meal plan, sticking to our exercise plan, reading our scriptures daily, doing a good deed each day, not thinking/talking about guys all the time (because we need them in our lives, but not ALL the time!), etc. It was fun!

So anyways, I've got soccer class on Mondays and Wednesdays, then we go to the gym on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. Mondays we play soccer after FHE, oh and Fridays we also go to the gym. Strength training is Tues/Thurs/Sat and Thursdays are our pool exercise days. Today I got a double dose of exercise though! I'm gonna start going to the Swing Dance thing every Wednesday night, the Latin/Ballroom thing every Thursday night and there's dance workshops from 10-12pm on Saturday. I'm so excited! I'm skipping Latin tomorrow because I think I overdid my exercise today. Garret fell on me in soccer and knocked us both to the ground and then my knee hurt, so I put on my brace, wore it all day until this evening and I was okay at the dance tonight, but my knees feel stressed so... I'll skip the dance tomorrow, but I'm still doing the pool because that's not hard on your joints. :)

There's so much to do here it's so cool! I was NOT gonna eat anything after I got home today, but Katey left me a piece of "Better than Sex" cake that she made for our FHE "Daddy" Nathan tonight, but it was only like 2 inches by 3-4 inches. So that's alright! Other than that, I stuck to my eating plan but probably ate a little more calories than I should.

BTW, I ate a cheese, mushroom and onion quesadilla for dinner... WOW! It was WONDERFUL! I sauteed the mushrooms and onions beforehand.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Small successes...

Well right now I'm at Devins house, the guy Jason is staying with in WV. I've been very careful about what I've been eating and haven't allowed myself to go into what I call "vacation mode" where I just eat whatever I want with no qualms about the consequences. I have been exercising.. well, kind of. I've done DDR the last two nights and some 'ab work' and stretching. And a few pushups. Today I wanted to do my biggest loser workout but I can't figure out how to work the dvd player which is actually an xbox 360, so I'm going to have to do it tonight when Jason and Devin are here. Fun, fun!

I weighed myself the morning that we left and I was 172. Thats down 15 lbs from the start of this blog! WOOT! Devin has a scale but it seems grossly inaccurate (stupid dial scale. This is the digital age Devin! Haha) this morning it looked like 170 but I can't really be certain. I weighed myself at the mall for a quarter and it said I was about 173.5 and that was fully clothed in the middle of the day. But it was also a dial scale! Soooo anyway. I'm trudging along! I feel SO determined this time. I'm not letting myself self-sabotage anymore. I'm in this forever!!

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Barely hanging on...

At least thats how I feel right now! I have been having SUCH a hard time with my eating the last few days. I get soooo snacky and feeling almost like I don't care. But I'm NOT giving up. I weighed myself this morning and I was 174.8, which is actually good because I had gone up almost a pound a few days ago. So I haven't really done any backsliding. I'm going to Mom's in a few minutes and I'm going to run on the treadmill. I need it, I didn't exercise at all yesterday and I keep beating myself up over it but all I can do is pick up where I am.

So now my goal is to GET OUT OF THE 170's! I can do it!! Its only 5 lbs away! 169, here I come!